There have been written many sets of rules, regulations, and laws, throughout history. Most of these are intended to bring order out of chaos. From the very first code of conduct, the attempt has been made to establish a single order that can be followed by all, which will allow all individuals, of all different types and ways of thought, to exist together. Everyone is different, and that has always been the case. We all are raised at least a bit differently from everyone else. We are all unique combinations of other people’s ideas that we collect together as our SELF. What each of us wants and desires is not the same, yet our needs and requirements are. To insure that the wants of the individual, and the actions that result out of these desires, do not cause adverse effects to others, we have established law and order.

    At the finest level, the rules that govern a society are formed by what is considered to be the majority. If most of the individuals in a mass can form a consensus of agreement as to what is right and wrong; acceptable and unacceptable; then the rest of the individuals must live with that set of regulations. As there are differences between the sexes, there are also leaders and followers of both sexes in any given mass of individuals. The rules have always been set by those in control, which are most often the leaders. In the case of the sexes, history has seen the males of the species in control, and making the rules. This has been the case whether the governing ideology has been democratic, dictatorial, monarchic, or religious in origin. Without any understanding of a balanced relationship between the sexes, there can be no harmonious ways of existence between any other individuals. The basis to forming any sort of harmony is through understanding and cooperation. We must know the needs and limitations of those we wish to relate to. Before we can do that, however, we must first understand ourselves. If we cannot know of our own needs and limitations, there is no way we can ever fully understand those of others, and no way we can possibly attain true peace with each other.

    That there is bias to all set systems of order is in contradiction to the purpose of order, which is to get the most out of life, and the best that every individual has to offer. Whether the rules are made by the wisest or the strongest, the most thinking or the most feeling, the most conservative or the most liberal, they are always missing something critical. That which is missing is harmony. A system that is meant to benefit everyone must take into account the opinion of everyone. Every single voice has something to say. Every individual has the knowledge of something that no other has. While we boast of our democracy having the purpose of giving everyone a voice, it is most sadly lacking in that capacity.

    The basic truth that women are equal to men should be obvious to all of us. Men and women have different ways of thinking, but neither is better or more useful than the other. The problem between the sexes arises most often out of the simplest relationship between a man and a woman. This relationship is not physical at all, but merely cooperative. That we should form couples and exist together with one of the opposite sex is not only religious and traditional in origin, but probably instinctual. Even those of homosexual alignment seek out one with which to share their life with. For two people to exist together requires cooperation. To share in cooperation, the two must be acting toward the same goal and direction. Being as we all seek the same things in a basic sense; food, water, shelter, security, and appreciation; this should not be such a difficult task.

    A relationship between two individuals is much like a boat set on the ocean of life. Each of the two has a side to watch and an oar to row with. If they each watch their side, and take turns stroking the water with their oars, they will travel in a straight line to their goal and see any obstacles they need to avoid. If the couple does not work together, cooperate, pay attention to what the other is doing, and match the strokes of the other with balance, then the boat will not progress efficiently to the destination. If one has to row on both sides because the other does not work with them, then they will tire and resent the mate, and the journey. If the two are both trying to reach a different destination, then they will only travel in circles, waste time, deplete their resources, and grow tired.

    The journey not only requires cooperation and equal effort from both, but also the all-important quality of understanding. Without understanding of each other, there can be no certainty that the goal is mutual. Without understanding there can be no trust of each other, which is essential for such a journey to succeed. One must be secure in the fact that the other is of the same intention and direction, even though the way they act and think is different. If one is preoccupied with the destination and neglects to watch their side thoroughly, the boat may run into an obstacle that could have been avoided. If the other has trust that one will keep watch and the watch is not kept, then trust will be lost.

    When two people take up positions in the boat, each must be oriented so that they can see their own side and the destination ahead of them. One who is always looking back cannot balance the pace properly with the other, for their perspective of motion is reversed. Likewise, as each has their own side, this is the side they are strongest in. If one does not watch their side, then the other is forced to do so in order to avoid obstacles. But this is not their strong side, and they may not know as well the obstacles that arise there, so there is danger. Not only does neglect of ones duties present a danger, but the other in having to do so will tire of having to watch in so many directions, and resent the other. It is absolutely essential that the two are truly in unison with each other for the journey to be a success, for many reasons.

    It seems rather straight-forward, this idea of working together towards a common goal, and it is with a few simple things to keep in mind at all times. With understanding of yourself, you are in the only position that will allow you to understand the other. When the other is equally understanding of themselves, then the two may begin to understand each other. With the understanding and knowledge of each other, there can be unity and cooperation. Each knows what they are best at, and accepts those things in the other that they are best at. Each is made better by the addition of the other. Each keeps the other as part of themselves at all times. Each lives and acts with the other in mind at all times. The two become one, which is whole. They are no longer one, but one-half of the whole. Each will have their turns, in their places, in control of the whole, doing what they are best at and acting to benefit the whole.

    This is the truest way, which is the way it was meant to be. The false way is one of standard roles that never vary. The boat can only go in one direction at a time. It requires work to be performed from both sides. It is wrong for man or woman to assume there must be a captain for the journey to succeed and the destination met. The captain is the whole. It is not "you" or "me", it is "US". The relationship between the man and woman is this idea of One. This is both the most primitive and instinctual, as well as the highest and most divine form of any relationship between any number of persons. When one can achieve this perfection in relationships, one can achieve perfection in all relationships. He who can relate cooperatively with a woman can relate to all women, and all other men. She who cooperates in relation with a man can cooperate with all men and all other women.

    The truth of correct belief and faith is the knowledge of the true self. There is a GOD. There is a GODDESS. Each must be served with our honor and loyalty. What they were as one is no more in reality. As the containers of both, we must find them within ourselves, for the self is where all that is Divine resides. Blessed be all who come to ONE and know within themselves of TWO.

Copyright 2000 by J.S.Graham