I:

I'm always digging around the web, reading news, watching more documentaries, not just about current events but events more than 100 years ago that have brought us to where we are now. I suppose it's part of my self treatment to search out mans inhumanity to man. The suffering of others makes my life seem like Heaven. Whatever self-pity I had melts into a bleeding heart for the entire species. The depression dissipates, but not the anxiety. I just get more disgusted with this planet and it's population.

Soldiers invading homes and terrorising innocent families. Nailing children to trees, screaming in pain and bleeding to death while watching what happens to their mothers, who get to watch their children die as they themselves are beaten, raped, and murdered. This was happening less than 100 years ago during the First World War, but one can't help but wonder if any army in the past 3000 years could have ever been any less civilised.

Then there was World War Two, when the Nazis industrialised death on a scale no one could ever dream possible. As many as 14,000,000 innocent people murdered, not soldiers, and not even half of them were Jewish. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin? Into the showers with all of them. You know? You can never be too careful. Nobody learned anything from that, except maybe the Jews. Well, that's not true at all.

The megalomaniacs certainly learned a lot from the Nazis. How to use the schools and all forms of media to progressively mould an entire nation into mindless followers that would never challenge anything they did or said. That was one useful example. Details of medical experimentation that no civilised doctor would ever perform, even if he was allowed to use live human being as test subjects, was also quite useful. It was valuable enough to earn more than one SS doctor complete absolution for his crimes, and a free ticket to South America to live in peace for the rest of his life.

Americans carried on the elite tradition, testing new chemical and biological methods of depopulation on the Koreans. Only recently, more than 50 years later, is anyone outside of Korea learning anything about what really went on there. VietNam, of course, was able to show the world the true face of so-called 'Democracy', or rather that of corporatism/capitalism that hides behind it.

We the people... With Liberty and Justice for all. Everyone should have the incontrovertable right to choose their own way of life, and the freedom to elect their own leaders... As long as they're not communists, or of any other ideology that would stand in the way of progress. Throughout the 70s, 80s, and 90s, the silent hand of freedom and democracy was quietly overthrowing such popularly elected governments, to replace them with vicious dictators who were better for business.

It's never really been about any idealism. It's not even greed that drives them as much as survival. The planet is limited in her capacity for life support, and there are more and more of us every day. We are running out of space, and running out of food. People did understand the fact that there was just one world. It has only one side, one ocean, one sky, one land. Every one of these parts is divided into countless sub-categories though. Countless other species of both flora and fauna. Countless types and compositions of terrain. Even the sky and sea have varying degrees of temperature, density, and composition. All of these are necessary and inter-dependant. Any scientist should understand the basics of thermodynamics: Without differences, nothing moves.

It seems impossible for the human mind to accept the concept that there is one human species also. The Bible starts us out with just two parents of the entire species. What color were Adam and Eve? It doesn't say. Somewhere soon after that story though, humanity gets divided into three races of Black, White, and Asian brothers, and immediately begins extolling and defiling the various qualities and attributes of each.

The differences move us. They are our greatest strength and greatest weakness. When our different ideas, skills, knowledge, etc., can work together, we can do positive things that benefit everyone. When our differences conflict, the same powerful engine turns backwards and destroys. We should be able to recognise that our particular meeting of differences is incorrect before that happens. You have another job to do, and so do I. Fighting is not my purpose, nor yours.

The problem is the individuality that we define by our differences. We take it personally. "Why don't you agree with me? Am I wrong? Mistakes are wrong and I don't want to be wrong. You must be wrong! While I was here trying to work with you, I might have been needed somewhere else. Now I may have missed that opportunity!" Mystery. The Dark Unknown. Uncertainty is insecurity and the mother of Fear. Fear, of course, is the mother of Hate. "It's your fault!"

Under fear and hate, the human being stops glowing and withdraws the aura inside the protective shell of the flesh. Baser instincts take over whether the perceived fear was tangible or not. If it's believed, it's real. The animal has a way of reasoning to protect itself. If the first dog I meet bites me, I will likely believe that all dogs are dangerous and avoid them in the future. If I have been around other dogs before and one bites me, I am likely to associate my fear with that particular breed of dog. If I have been in contact with lots of other Rottweilers before being bitten by one, I am likely to look for some other difference that I can use to identify his disposition and protect myself in the future. That's just the way it works.

We are going to keep classifying, sub-classifying, stereotyping, defining, blaming, condemning, oppressing, and murdering each other until "no one's left and no one's right." Only the strong survive. We will keep on weeding out the weaklings with outright genocide where we can get away with it, and applied eugenics, forced sterilisation and abortion, biased and prejudiced imprisonment and executions in 'civilised' places where we can't.

Perhaps building the perfect beast is a good idea, and exactly what God intended us to do eventually, but the way we are going about is all wrong. If there is a Chosen people to be achieved, it is going to be the result of all colors breeding into one, with the strengths and weaknesses of all. I'm sorry to be the sad bearer of bad news, but if blonde hair and blue eyes are such fragile traits in the human genome that they could be lost forever through interbreeding, then that hardly fits in with survival of the fittest, and defies your own logic of any such strong master race.

Whether it's through 'purification' or interbreeding, the problem of individuality will continue to plague us. If we were all a uniform shade of purple, or even like clones, or a perfectly androgynous species where males were almost indistinguishable from females, we would still find ways to be different, descriminate, divide, separate from one and other, and fight. Perhaps this is a bit jaded and pessimistic, but I see little reason to believe otherwise.

I can say, well, some of us can be raised or trained to control our selfish and individual selves. We can maintain a focus of the larger self, the greater self that is part of a greater whole, and live our lives dedicated to it. We can put the circle back together again. One species, one planet, one living organism, "in a single perfect sphere." But then I've just broken it myself with the first sentence of this paragraph. Some of us, but never all.

Always a division. Day and night. Black and white. One does not exist without the other. Even if there was only one of us, immortal and floating alone in the abyss, the battle continues between left and right hemispheres of the brain. Logic and reason versus emotion and feeling. Masculine versus feminine. Dominance and submission. Eternal madness at the center of chaos.

No matter where you go, there you are.

II:

Some say we could save this planet, and I have no doubt that it's true. Mother Nature is extremely resilient, and could recover from just about anything we might do to Her. I've seen the flowers rising up through the ash and devastation less than a year after Mt. St. Helens erupted, where even the scientists said life would not return for possibly decades. We've got to stop causing more injury before any substantial healing can begin, and few seem the slightest bit interested in doing that.

To do so would require shutting it all down, and basically returning to a pre-steam age. If it doesn't run on Solar, wind, water, geothermal, or tidal power, then it doesn't run. Period. End of line. It might seem like returning to the 16-1700s, but we'd still have a lot of useful technology for our post-modern convenience. I'll bet I could keep my computer, air conditioner, and electric lights running, though I might have to move out of the city and start producing that energy myself rather than depending on coal-fired and nuclear power plants. The hydro-electric dams could probably be made a bit more friendly for the fish and river without sacrificing too much output.

We would continue to have satellite communication for quite a few more years before the orbits decay, but then we'd just have to go back to land lines and cables. What would be the real loss? Transportation! We would have to go back to the horse and wagon, and sailboats. I think most of us could deal with that. My bicycle works just fine to get wherever I need, if I'm too lazy to walk. If I was an old man with a broken back, I could probably still find a pedal-powered vehicle to get around in, though it might need to have three wheels.

Who really needs any faster or larger transportation? Business, industry, trade, and commerce. This would effect us all. The end of globalisation and world markets. The USA and Europe would have to go back to growing crops and livestock and feeding themselves, rather than importing the stolen commodities from third world countries that are starving. We might even have jobs again if they were no longer able to keep bringing those endless containers of cheap crap from the slave labor factories in China.

"Faster, faster, more, more" is what they would have to do without. When we see who loses the most, we should be able to recognise who destroyed the families, communities, towns, cities, counties, states, provinces, and countries in the first place. And when they try and tell us, or sell us, how our lives will be so much improved by this or that, we might pause a moment and think about it first.

One other note on this scenario that might be most important and significant of all: Of greatest benefit to all humanity would be the loss of flight. No black fuel means no more airplanes or helicopters. Think of that - no more 'death from above' which is the terror of civilians far more than soldiers anywhere on Earth.

Perhaps that would be only a minimal relief. There are always the big guns and mortars that can attack from afar and above, as well as rockets. Gunpowder along with other explosives and propellents would be nearly impossible to control. They would have to be legal, as natural and easily obtainable chemical substances. The higher powered types would vanish after some time if their refinement and manufacture were forbidden. Hydrogen and Oxygen would also be legal, and they can be produced easily with electrolysis. I seriously doubt if an electric motor would be able to compress the gases enough to make a viable fuel for a missle.

As stated before, war will never go away. The best we can hope for is to set it back a few centuries and keep it that way. Innocent people stand no chance when bombarded from the air. If the gunner is on the ground and sends a shell into their village, at least the people have the possibility to go out and stop him. It might take 100 or 500 to do so, but at least they have a chance.

Glory and honor of battle... I'm not a soldier and never have been, but I think if any man wants to fight to the death, it should be with no more than swords and shields.

III:

What other alternatives are there?

The above scenario could never happen even if war promised never to rear it's ugly face again. These white collar criminals, who have never lifted anything heavier than a telephone in their entire lives, will die if ever faced with the possibility of having to do so. What? I'm laid off? It's better to put a bullet in my head or take a dive out the window of my Madison Avenue office, (in my $1500 suit) than face my wife and children with this news.

As was sort of mentioned before, Without war there is no definition of peace. Likewise there must also always be the 'haves' and the 'have nots' for they are meaningless without each other. God exists to be adored. Worshippers exist to adore God.

There has been a huge problem brewing in those nations below the equator that we have 'helped' and 'modernised' and exploited. A growing and swelling brown tide, with the potential of drowning them all as it flows out over the face of their cherished planet. They have seen the light, and have been taking steps for at least 90 years to control it.

In 1983, I read an article stating that approximately 85% of the worlds wealth and resources were owned or controlled by less than 5% of the population. That huge chasm between the haves and have nots frightened me then, and I can only imagine it has gone to even further extremes in the quarter of a century since then.

So, OK, there's always going to be rich and poor. I thought I grew up rather rich, but that was just the former middle class in the USA. I knew it could be a lot worse. I had friends that had far less than I ever did. Somehow I imagined that the difference between them and me was probably at the same scale as the difference between myself and what I figured was rich. I had no idea.

It probably was around 83 that I saw this terrible discrepancy and realised the danger. What I put on my plate each day cost enough to feed a family of 4 in Sudan for a month. That has to bring questions into the mind of any thoughtful person. What am I eating that is so valuable? and what are they eating that is so inexpensive? Soylent Green?

That's an army of a million to one, and they're hungry, desperate. Dying today might be more preferable to them than living until tomorrow. We can't build a wall high enough or thick enough to keep them out. We can't stockpile enough ammunition for when they get in either.

On top of living under Ronald Reagan and Maggie Thatcher taunting the Soviets, this 19 year old had to try and sleep wondering, what if we DON'T have a nuclear war? What is the answer to this?

Massive depopulation.

I picked a biblical fraction of 2/3 but the experts were figuring on more like 80-95%. Like others at that time, 'The Stand' by Stephen King came to mind. Maybe a disease would do this job naturally like the Black Plague did in Europe? Maybe the secret government had already unleashed an unnatural plague in the form of HIV/AIDS? Many people wondered how it just appeared out of nowhere, and I suspected that was what had been done.

I no longer fear an epidemic. It's not going to happen that way. Rest assured. Many years of watching Americans and the rest of the world turning into subservient zombies with their TV and medications has taught me that much. By 1989 I was 25 and married, and had thrown away my degree in broadcasting because I wanted nothing to do with that business. Britain is different in that TV still retains some of the purpose it was intended for - education, but in USA it is not at all. If I'd have gone to work for the BBC instead of ABC, things would have been much different, I'm sure.

Anyway, I speculated then on what would be a good career to get into, now that I had someone to take care of. Security was immediately obvious. My parents suburban home had already been burglarised twice. Both times, the police arrived long after the perpetrators had broken in and the alarm had alerted them of a crime in progress. I told my father, "If you had been at home, and they hadn't been after your VCR, jewelry, and guns, or even if they were and didn't know you were at home, then they would have had almost 45 minutes to do whatever they wanted with you now wouldn't they?"

Private security companies won't have anything to do with you without previous military or police experience, so that idea was nipped in the bud. I thought, well maybe I wouldn't be a good soldier, but I might be a good police officer. I think I have a proper sense of right and wrong, good virtues and values, and though I had a good understanding of the street, I had no criminal record. I passed all the tests and almost signed on, but then I got bad feelings about it.

What would I do if the movies were true? I might have to face corruption and need to choose between doing what was the right thing and doing what I was told the right thing was. I would fail. A policeman is another type of soldier who does what he's told, not what he feels or thinks or believes. I couldn't do that.

Then there's that fact that all our policemen have to face whether they are good or bad cops. I am the one in the uniform. I am well marked as soon as you see my car. You know who and what I am. I am not that brave, I admit. I have listened to too many VietNam vets telling me stories, "You can't tell the good ones from the bad ones when you're in that situation" and that had a sudden ring of truth to it. Cops have uniforms, criminals don't. They look just like anybody else.

I also remembered my times running around with the kind of people I would be encountering as a police officer. They were better armed. Not until the late 80s were police officers in the United States allowed to carry any more than a .357 magnum revolver. My late grandfather told me of times when he was a State Police Officer. He said that a six-shooter was just fine. He talked about facing .45 caliber Thompsons. "It ain't about how many shots you can fire. It only matters if you hit. Pop,pop,pop,pop,pop, BANG!" I did believe him. I had training. I knew a .357 would penetrate an engine block, a mattress, a windshield.

As I said, I'm a coward. There's no way I'll stand up and make that one vital shot if someone is firing a Thompson at me, and much less inclined to do so when it's a laser aimed MAC, Uzi, or AK-47 spitting bullets twice or three times as fast. I don't care if the dumbass gangsters have ever had any real training with the weapon or not. Call it lack of bravery, lack of balls, whatever. I have enough sense of self preservation to keep my head down if I was ever in that sort of situation.

Well, I always seem to turn what I write into some sort of personal biography. Maybe that's why I haven't written anything here for so long.

My vision might be exactly as some others have said though. It's not going to be chemical weapons that wipe out 80 to 95% of the population. It's going to be a police state. Martial law. Ordered and selective executions, for whatever reason. The means and method will be people just like I could have been. Bad economy. No jobs. Men and women will be welcomed to join the purging force and become an instrument of destruction.

Nazis changed their execution methods from firing squads to Zyklon B mainly because the men were getting sick of killing. The Chinese officials tell their victims to open their mouths as they are bent over, kneeling on the ground. Their aim is careful and well practiced. From behind, gun at the base of your skull, keep your mouth open so the bullet can go through and not rip out any more than is intended. We don't need to destroy your face, only the ideas that are in your mind.

It will probably be a lot like the system the SS used. USA has already privatised their prison system, for the most part. What few jobs there are left are being done by prisoners, for a tiny fraction of even the meager wages we would pay the illegal immigrants. They don't just clean up the litter from the sides of the roads anymore either. There are entire factories being worked by inmates. In the state of Oregon, I worked for a man that managed a furniture factory run by the state prison. He told me, "Oh yeah, there are lots of others" but didn't elaborate, and I didn't ask. What a great innovation. Can't find a job? No way to support your family? Just get busted for vagrancy and we'll give you a job.

I really don't know how it will work in the good old USA. I haven't lived there for 5 years, but I know there are a lot of families that could just 'disappear' and no one would even know they were gone. One could probably cordon off entire sections of the city I used to live in and 'relocate' thousands. Stupid sheep like my parents would just make comments about how unkept the yards are in that neighborhood. "They can't even afford to buy gas for the friggin lawn-mower? I don't know dear, it looks like all the people must have moved away."

IV:

That's going to be a really long and slow process. I think they have another dream.

One of my favorite authors was the great British writer, Herbert George (HG) Wells. I loved all of his books, and every film made from his awesome science fiction. Orwell and Huxley certainly made an impression upon me, but never as much as Wells did. It was most disappointing to learn that he and his wife were great sponsors of this elitist ideology I have grown to despise.

So I got to thinking maybe that's what this is all about. Maybe the elite are not so much interested in depopulation as they are in getting away. If I had those billions and no intention of cleaning up my mess or fixing anything, I'd be building a spaceship. Maybe there are some smart ones among them? Genocide never works. These impure races breed faster than we can kill them. This world is basically finished. We'll just take all we can and find another.

I guess this is where I should put on my tinfoil cap, since I don't really have any facts to substantiate my ideas. The shuttle launches over the past decade seem to be rather frequent. That's a lot of money burning every time one goes up. What are they doing on that space station? Did they find a place yet? Another new probe was recently sent out. Where is it going? It can't be random to set loose a costly piece of equipment like that. They must have some idea where to look.

I really do wish them luck, even if I won't be with them.

I already wrote a page or two about the possibility of aliens and other worlds, so I won't get into that subject here. I'll simply voice my disgust that they imagine they could get away so easily. They won't. They might find a place, and all pile into that craft they believe will take them there, but their fate will be far worse than the bullet I get in the head. Or maybe not. They will probably be in some sort of hibernation when they die, and will never feel a thing.

Like everything else in their world though, they are the users and not the builders. Where would such a craft be built, and by whom? Challenger and Columbia weren't designed to go a millionth of the distance that the chosen ones will have to travel. The contract will go to the lowest bidder, or a 'friend'. Maybe just sour grapes that I will not be invited, but my pessimistic prediction is that they will never make it. Even if their computers are as well built as my own, they still won't be able to take enough spare parts with them to keep it going as far as they'll need to go.

Whatever happens matters not. What a joy it will be! The biggest pigs have flown away!!! We'll still be left with the raped and pillaged prison planet they leave behind, but we can deal with that. We've revolted against a thousand or more such oppressors before.

26 March,
The World of Horrors and Wilderness of Pain.